Daily PUNishment

I believe that Odysseus was myth understood.

Or maybe it was his brother who had a lisp.

If a neurosurgeon injects Novacaine in your scalp, will it make you a numbskull?

If I ate a bunch of nails and it cured my anemia, would that be ironic?

If a cat ate a bunch of nails, would the cat become feral?

My wife asked me to put bricks under the head of our bed because she thinks it makes me snore less. I am inclined to agree with her. If I decline, it could escalate into an argument.

Sign on the Audiologist’s Door:

“Hear Today, Gone Tomorrow”

________________________

Sign on the courtroom door:

“Hearing Today, at the Audiologist’s Office Tomorrow.”

Auto insurers prefer to sell policies to wreckless drivers.

Her Japanese dress got dirty because it was cut to long. You might say it was a Kimono Draggin’.

Ok, this is not a pun and I didn’t write it, but it is worth reprinting anyway: “Money doesn’t make you happy. I have 50 million dollars. I was just as happy when I had 48 million.”

An exterminator was called to a Church to rescue a skunk. He was not sure that he arrived at the right Church. He found a critter and removed it. Later  the Pastor called him to tell him that what he removed was his smelly black and white cat. The pastor told him “Right Church, wrong pew”.

A friend of mine caught a big trophy fish, but instead of pulling him in, he kept banging him against the side of the boat. I asked him what the problem was. He said it was a high dollar fish and he was trying to knock some cents into him.