Daily PUNishment

What do lawyers serve at dinner as appetizers?

Voir Dirves

When normal anti-depressants don’t work my Indian psychiatrist recommends shakra therapy.

I need a vacation.   I plan to go to Romania so that can book a rest.

If I join a commune that emphasizes grammar would it be semi-colonized?

I lost my job at the Mayo Clinic. I couldn’t catch up and they said that I couldn’t cut the mustard.

Bought a solid gold toilet?

Midas well.

Should a civil engineer be considered a roads scholar?

About a rude engineer?

The day after my wife’s birthday, should I wish her happy afterbirth day?

Okay this is not a pun. I’d like some feedback from my registrants.  I have created these puns, almost all original, since December 2010 with very little feedback.   How am I doing?  221 posts to date with 23,000 registrants and growing fast.

Did she dare to criticize my delicatessen?

No, it was just a deli taunt.

Did she criticize my opthomologist?

No,  it was just a dilate taunt.