Daily PUNishment

If you forget why you are running, you can always jog your memory.

I don’t want to go out on a limb, but I have to wonder about whether a tree-trimming company would have a branch manager.

The undertaker ordered take-out after the undertaking he had undertaken was completed and he was overtaken with grief. He should have just taken this job and shoveled it.

Van Gogh was not great with women. He is purported to have fed his dates an anise-flavored liquor after being told that absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.

Do you know how much skillet takes to make frying pan jokes?

If you are a golfer, should be excited or dismayed when you post a subpar round?

He feared tears because of tears.

I consider the thought of sterility inconceivable.

I watched a night-time performance of stars Stockard Channing and Carol Channing from across the room.

It was some Channing evening.  And I could see a stranger.

My son had a new baby and my friend asked me if I had taught her to play tennis yet. I said that I thought she would learn how to play basketball first….It’s easier to learn how to dribble.