Daily PUNishment

I went to an incompetent dentist, who put in a new crown. He had to redo the job because he did not make a good first impression.

An umpire should decide the fate of the Israelis and the Palestinians. He could set up a viewing stand high above Jerusalem where he could overlook the positions of both sides. Then he could declare who was safe and who was out. It could be called his Ballfour Declaration.

The dentist who made lots of mistakes was looking for a title for his practice. He came up with this: “Acci-dental.”

Do you wash your dishes immediately or wait a while after dinner?
I don’t have a harden fast rule.

The woman with osteoporosis had difficulty maintaining her patience. He physical therapist prescribed wait-bearing exercises.

The chef knew where to take his onions and scallions, but had no place to tak a leek.

He finally took it to his plumber.

His wife was horrified when he assured her that their relationship was purely monotonous.

There is a reason Iraqis don’t eat cottage cheese. They don’t let Kurds get in the whey.

The magician gave up his vocation after he became disillusioned.

The owner of the nail salon missed the April 15th deadline.   She was behind in her filing.